Who has never kept a jacket, a piece of jewelry or a letter from a missing loved one, simply because we can't part with it? We tell ourselves that these objects comfort us, that they bring back memories... What if, on the contrary, they maintained a dull sadness, slowing down our reconstruction? Here's why sorting through a deceased person's belongings can be a deeply calming decision.
The invisible trap of material memories
When grieving, it is common to want to cling to what remains: clothes still imbued with a familiar smell, photos, everyday objects. We keep them "just in case", thinking they will help us hold on. In reality, these objects can freeze the link with the past and slow down emotional healing.
From a psychological point of view, keeping a loved one's belongings at all costs can block the natural grieving process. This creates a sort of "time bubble", where we unconsciously delay accepting the loss. However, even if this path takes time, it is necessary to find inner peace
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Make room to welcome what comes next
What if clearing the air around you also allowed you to make room within yourself? Sorting, giving or putting away the belongings of a deceased loved one is neither "forgetting" them nor disrespecting them. It's a strong symbolic gesture, a way of saying: "You stay in my heart, but I choose to move forward. "
A gentle method is to start with the least emotionally charged objects. Then, over time, you can choose to keep one or two important memories –a photo, a piece of jewelry, a letter – and separate yourself from the rest. Offering these objects to an association or a person in need can also give new meaning to this detachment.
The emotional weight hidden in every drawer
Even if we think we have turned the page, each preserved object acts like a discreet sting. Opening a closet, coming across a forgotten shirt, a wave of emotions can rise to the surface. This maintains a persistent emotional fragility, often invisible but very real.
It is not a question of erasing our memories, but of offering them a peaceful space in our memory, without the objects becoming a prison. Doesn't the real homage, ultimately, lie more in what we keep within ourselves than on a shelf?
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Rethink your space to rebuild yourself
Change the organization of your interior, rearrange a room, repaint a wall... These seemingly innocuous actions can have a real effect on our well-being. They help us to turn a page smoothly, to reclaim our living space.
It is not "erasing" someone to modify their environment, it is accepting that life continues, and that we deserve a framework conducive to our appeasement. Rebuilding ourselves is also that: recreating a cocoon in which we feel good, in accordance with our new reality.
What if we left room for light?
Grief is a personal path, sometimes winding, never linear. There is no right or wrong way to get through it. But if you feel like something is weighing you down more than comforting you, it might be a sign that it's time to let it go. To find a little lightness... and welcome light back into your daily life.
